Marriage and dating articles
The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission.I read dozens of studies about love, how people connect and why they do or don’t stay together.To older readers, the scenario above may have at least a vague, distant familiarity.But to younger readers, it may be utterly foreign, antiquated and unrealistic—like viewing a scene from an old black-and-white film in a world accustomed to the rapid-fire images of a high-definition action movie.The percentages in our sample are likely higher due to the wider age range and other differences.While the percentages in either study may seem high to you, they are consistent with many other studies of those in these earlier stages of life.The latter two groups were not significantly different in the likelihood of remaining together.We also found that those who were living together—compared to dating and not living together—were more likely to report that their relationship experienced physical aggression within the prior year.
Similarly, in our Relationship Development Study, a national longitudinal sample of 1,278 emerging adults in unmarried relationships (aged 18 to 34), we found that 48 percent of the unmarried adults reported some sort of physical aggression in the history of their relationship.In fact, they are usually really enthusiastic about doing so.We might even say that getting to know one another better and more deeply is (up to a certain limited point, of course) the very of a dating relationship. I asked my dad about this experience, and here’s how he described it: he told his parents he was ready to get married, so his family arranged meetings with three neighboring families. That’s how my dad decided on the person with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life. I am perpetually indecisive about even the most mundane things, and I couldn’t imagine navigating such a huge life decision so quickly. Happily so—and probably more so than most people I know who had nonarranged marriages.
I checked the website Eater for its Heat Map, which includes new, tasty restaurants in the city. The stunning fact remained: it was quicker for my dad to find a wife than it is for me to decide where to eat dinner.